It could also give you some insight into whats going on in his life, which can help you be more supportive of him as he grows up. Raise the issue in a non-confrontational manner as soon possible. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. The one emotion boys are allowed to show? A son may feel like his mother doesnt trust him and that she thinks hes incompetent. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',156,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If a son already has animosity towards his mother from childhood, this will worsen in adulthood. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. Parents need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. Whatever the reason, its important to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her sons relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. It may be that the husband/dad is not living with the family anymore or has died. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. From what they wear to who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers approval. He hides his relationships from his mother. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. For this reason, divorce should not be taken lightly (and I argue, if at all) because it leads to the breakdown of the family unit, which can lead to the breakdown of parent-child relationships, too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1','ezslot_22',600,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1-0'); Sons with mental illness or personality disorders can become difficult to live with, especially for their parents. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. But unless he continues. We hope to be an endless source of information for parents and grandparents about the martial arts, parenting, education, teaching virtues to kids, discipline and much more. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. Now there are always exceptions; but remember, theyre called exceptions for a reason, and not the rule. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. In the United States, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers poorly. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or hes going through some issues. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Therapy can be a great tool to help work through issues and get to the root of the problem. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. This will lead him to disrespect other women as well. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children. Children can be rude because they havent lived long enough to know what else is out there. With proper medical care, it is possible for sons and mothers to repair their relationship but this isnt guaranteed; and its especially difficult when adult sons with illness need to continue to live with their parents as a result. Simple 3-Minute Meditation Script Thatll Change Your Life! But there are things that you can do to help your son understand how important his mother is to him, and how much she deserves to be treated with respect. It also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when needed. If you must meet with your son to discuss something that he is doing wrong, try to wait until a time when he has had a chance to relax and unwind. Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. He may also feel that she is too controlling in how she handles his life, which can make him feel suffocated by his mother. We laugh at the comical show, Everybody Loves Raymond, about Ray Barone and his dysfunctional family, but in reality, this overbearing mother and co-dependent son is no laughing matter. Image credits depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park. What constitutes a negative relationship with one's mother is a fairly broad set of possibilities, and some negative relationships are . This will bolster the young child's ego. https://aleteia.org/2018/12/09/the-impact-of-controlling-mothers-on-their-sons/, https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-mom-is-too-controlling-how-to-deal-with-it-36863, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x, http://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf, https://search-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/docview/614509632/fulltextPDF/DD39F752A24D4257PQ/1?accountid=13158, https://www.livescience.com/8156-boys-close-relationship-mom.html. 3. But what happens when a mother is mistreated by her son? This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. Read on as we explore the issue of sons who mistreat their mothers, why sons behave this way, what it does to their mothers, and what mothers can do about it. Many sons who hate their mothers say it is because they grew up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and scheming mother. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. When a son mistreats his mother, its normal to feel hurt and confused. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. She involves herself in her sons personal relationship business. They do not want their sons to see them as weak or imperfect. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. But what happens when that relationship goes bad? Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. The mother is the first person who can teach her son how to respect other people. This can often lead to increased bad behavior, such as lying or stealing money from his parents wallets. Overstepping boundaries can take on many forms, from the mother being overly involved in her sons life to being controlling and manipulative. It may also damage his relationships with other women. Interactions with your mom can be a . If you think this is the reason your son is treating you badly, its important to take a step back and reassess how you interact with your son, and make sure youre not smothering him or overstepping boundaries. How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. Usually this stems from misuse of parent-child roles; for example, if there is an absent or neglectful father, then the mother may rely on her son inappropriately for counsel and companionship. Here are some tell-tale signs that your mother-son relationship may need some attention: Controlling mothers are very common in todays world. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. These sons also seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother. Then, I got a call back that no . It is no secret that the relationship between a mother and her son is an important one. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. Mothers are supposed to love their children equally, but most of us know thats not always the case. It gets harder for sons to trust. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. Sons in these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers through their problems and issues constantly. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. 1. This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. 0. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. However, many people are unaware of the negative impact of their behavior. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. 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